Original Post Date: July 13th, 2009
The World and I have a curious relationship. I flirt with it's daughter endlessly. She flirts with me. This is who we are. This is who we were meant to be.
It's divine.
When Hurricane Katrina sank New Orleans, that was a tragedy. The World was angry. Or maybe excited. Maybe it was sending a message, or maybe it was an apathetic movement of a succession of weather systems that cumulated into an unfortunate series of events.
But it was the World.
What devastates me is the tragedy that is not created by the World. To be fair, I have never experienced the tragedy of an earthquake, or a hurricane. I've been fortunate enough to never have been wiped out by a flood or a drought. Local fires of so long ago never threatened my home.
But we, in our holy capacity, create much better tragedy. Like everything that we work to improve upon, tragedy has come to have new meaning. We have given it new depths and personal percision strikes. What bilogical weapons did for war, emotional warfare does for tragedy. The signature is civilization's EMP. Labels give birth to devils and demons in ways lightning never could.
The recession is always my example. It always makes me disappointed. Of homes going empty, and families going hungry. Of food that can't be sold and people without shelter. Both, at the same time. We have lost no capacity to live, and yet we invent reason to suffer. I hate seeing large, empty office buildings at night, next to freezing homeless people on the street. We may not kill them - jury is still out on that one. But as a society, there is no doubt that we let them die.
It is man and woman made tragedy that I find truly tragic.
It's a person-made tragedy that we encourage, not discourage. It's person-made tragedy that we accept, rather than rage against. It's person-made tragedy that we will justify and forget, rather than remember. And it is person-made tragedy that happens every day, right beside us.
When it hits too close to home, we want to blame the World.
It's been a rough couple of weeks. And for a few of us, that's an understatement. Devastating, World-Altering, and Tragic, would be better words. Perspective is important - we still have what we still have. But any subject that can cause tears to well visibly and fears to fumble out deserve more than the description "rough."
Person-made tragedy attacks trust. Trust in others - suddenly everywhere there are unknown enemies, instead of well known friends. Trust in yourself - people are not who you thought they were.
It challenges transparancy. Can you be who you are? Is what happens behind closed doors so different than it appears?
It makes you wonder whether you were right or wrong. Whether you are a good person. It makes you question who you are.
The World doesn't attack that. The World has never had an interest in attacking that. It may take away homes and riches and lives. But it doesn't take away your sense of understanding, and it doesn't challenge your morality.
My favorite silver lining is that tragedy enables (and forces) people to show their true colours. Not only can it call trust and transparency into question, it must also thrust it upon us. It is in tragedy that people are as they are and we cannot help but hope they will be the people we hope them to be. There is no other option. To that extent, I love it.
When my friend encounters some unfortunate fate, I am empowered with the capacity to actually be there for them. I am able to show them that, in me, their trust was not misplaced. To show them that I am as I appear, and want to know them for who they are. To show that I do not always get everything right, but I am a good person.
And so, recently, I have been profoundly fortunate to be able to experience that silver lining in others directly. Despite the shadows that threaten eternal haunting, and devils that threaten scathing, I have friends and family that don't give a fuck. They have come through - unrequested and unbidden - in beautiful colours. How lucky I am.
The World's daughter is ready to move our relationship to the next level. But I have to ask permission first.
Surgery's on the 27th.
- Z
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